Monday, September 26, 2011

Jacoby Ellsbury Hairstyle

    As I sit here putting down these words, the Red Sox parade is taking place in Boston. The weather is perfect and I wish I was there. Instead, I went to my job. That's what you call being an old coot.

    BUT I'M THERE IN SPIRIT. And here to recap some of the more unnoticed moments from the last two days. Let's not forget all the chewing and spitting done in the Series. I loathe spitting and saliva in general, as my closest dearest readers know. (THANKS FOR SHARING THAT WITH THE NEWBIES, BECK!!!) You're very welcome. Seeing someone brush their teeth makes me grimace. I had an old roommate who used to chase me around the apartment with a mouth full of toothpaste. Ick.

    In terms of sports spitting, the kind I really hate is done by David Ortiz (who is otherwise without flaws). It's the one that comes out from the bottom teeth and heads in a more straight trajectory, a line drive if you will. Ick. Terry Francona lets his spits go with real contempt. Right down on the ground. GET RID OF THIS. His are easier to watch for me.

    Sorry I don't have a picture of it.
    Jacoby Ellsbury (center) celebrates in the Red Sox' clubhouse.

    Jacoby Ellsbury, or cute Jacoby Ellsbury if you prefer, gets his mouth into a perfect rectangle, for what reason we don't know. He continues to sport the Dollar Store goggles when others have concluded that they are too peculiar to wear. That's okay. After the catch he made in the ninth inning, he can wear them all night if he wants. The guys all need swimmies, those things that go on babies' arms to keep them afloat. Then they'd look perfect.
    Red Sox players sprayed champagne during celebrations in the clubhouse.

    Two grown men. That's all you can say.
    Mike Lowell and David Ortiz hugged during celebrations.

    Oh babe, I was the one that kept calling you at 2am. Did you know?
    Japanese pitchers Hideki Okajima (left) and Daisuke Matsuzaka (right) held the World Series trophy during celebrations.

    I'm only going to say this once. Japanese men do not look good in that weird dot-beard configuration. Neither do Danish men or Greenlandian men or American men. Ick.
    Coco Crisp (left) and Jacoby Ellsbury (right) celebrated in the clubhouse.

    Coco channels Richard Simmons while cute Jacoby clings to peculiar goggles.

    Curt Schilling celebrated on the field.

    K E G G E R!!!!!!!!!!!
    Red Sox fans celebrated at Coors Field after the win.

    Red Sox Nation, some still hung over from 2004 (better not be any of my students in there)
    John Henry held up the World Series trophy on the field.

    I'm supposed to be with the Shriners. Shut up about Monica Lewinsky.
    Jonathan Papelbon reacted to the Red Sox winning the World Series.
    This says it all. Paps may not dance at the parade, dear reader, but he's dancing in our hearts.
    Thanks to the Boston Globe for all the pix.
    A bientot

    It's official: Jacoby Ellsbury has dropped number 46 in favor of the much lower (and more aesthetically pleasing) number 2. When Brad Mills jumped ship for Houston, Jacoby wasted no time in snapping up his number. Normally this wouldn't be huge news (in early 2007, Dustin Pedroia swapped #64 for #15), but I take vindictive pleasure in the fact that all the Golden Boy worshipers will have to buy new T-shirts.

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Jacoby Ellsbury Hairstyle

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